Silence...

Without many words, it's an alienating feeling.

It numbs everything down to its bare essence, which is often nothing and everything.

Some of us are in it every minute of our lives more than others; some of us have a unique identity in it.

It solves both all of our problems and none of them.

Hold still, sit on it...

That is one of my versions of silence. Hold still... Sit on it...

It takes over repeatedly, all while beaming positivity out of my interface, be it in words, or facial expressions

It's a way of life. For some, it's a nightmare. The reality is that it is indeed a nightmare. We just convince ourselves we're not scared of it. Just hold still...

A resolution will come – a solution, a reply, an acknowledgment, a miracle, something.

I believe in silence.

Over time, silence and confusion get mixed up easily. When it becomes confusion, that's when you crack. Cracking means losing balance. Losing balance means entrapment into chaos. Chaos means madness. Madness leads to explosion.

One must be mindful the kind of explosion that is. Not all explosions are worth it. The purpose of silence, for me, is to find what is worth it. It can be tempting to lose it, but I’d rather dance slowly inside the rhythm of anxiety while keeping balance.

I can't stress how much balance has been invaluable throughout my life, in deals, negotiations, finding truth, and living with myself and others in general.

Some days you go without anything. Hell, it can be years. For some, maybe decades. Decades without anything, not even the simple things in life outside life itself.

And yet, you'll find some of us standing tall. I'm not sure I'm in that camp yet. I have cracked a few times and haven't yet met the hardest and darkest, for it gets darker surely.

This is good.

Some of you will know that being in silence doesn't necessarily mean peace of mind or reflection. Instead, it often feels like a great battle between internal forces. This battle can be exhausting and relentless. It wants you to transform and release it somewhere.

Talk to a friend, pick up work, create, strategize. Hell, most times it demands so much from you it makes everything TMI, and you just sit there with it. Just sit still. Maybe tomorrow, in a few hours, it will recline. It's usually the case. It is intriguing nonetheless.

Perhaps.

Perhaps, a friend can understand the silence and disrupt it. That would require an experienced friend.

Perhaps something that is progressing can enlighten the state of the silence, as the silence gets intense when there are no signs of a nominal system.

Perhaps life would be one less complicated garbage without it, and perhaps life would be nothing without it.

I've lived in silence for most of my life. In a way, it's the only way I know how to live. Silence. And don't confuse it with not having the ability to communicate, no.

Silence is the art of keeping jarring things in, deducing everything to simple actions and interactions. Silence is a compiler. No matter what you throw at it, it processes everything in a black box and spits out the same results.

In human language, this translates to a series of phrases: "I'm well," "Work is fine," and other surface-level responses. It makes sense; why expend energy on every trouble?

Good friends, and people in general, should set aside time for conventional discussion of troubles. One can try to process their troubles alone in silence for as long as possible, but having existed in it for as long as I can recall, I see a better way, definitely. But I'm not yet ready to adjust to such change. It would require something genuine, something I haven't seen before.

So when you see someone deeply in silence, be curious. You'll never know.